Today I read a quote that went to my heart, enveloped it and….warmed it.
We all need more things in life that warm our hearts.
IF you are struggling with addiction or with something very difficult in your life, remember…
“I don’t pray for God to take my problems away.
I pray only for God to give me the strength to go through them.”
No matter where you are, what you have done, what you are doing, what you will do tomorrow, what you regret…no matter – remember that quote.
When you’re at your worst
They will tell you there is hope,
but you won’t believe it
They will tell you there is beauty,
but you won’t see it
They will tell you there is love,
but you won’t feel it
They will tell you it’s never too late,
but…you know that it already is.
What they don’t tell you are the things that they don’t know.
They don’t know
that you exist in a state of hopelessness and fear.
Unloved and unloving.
Uglier and uglied.
Pained and scarred….
Burned from regrets
and shame, and guilt and anger.
Utter pure evil anger burning inside of you…
They don’t tell you because they don’t know…
but you know.
that those burns will stay with you forever.
When I think I have a chance, a fighting chance, with the strength to fight this disease…
I give in again.
It’s far easier to give in it seems.
It’s ridiculous and maddening because I know, I know(!), that if I just stay in the moment and not worry about being scared, alone, afraid in the evening – then i could do it. I could!
I wouldn’t know because I haven’t waited long enough to see.
Instead I panic.
I need my crutch, my vice…my addictions.
And it leaves me sicker than I ever imagined…
…until the next night.
God, give me the strength…
When will I surrender my soul to you God?
For that is the only moment
that I think I can ever change.
We all have reservoirs of life to draw upon which we do not dream.
– William James