They will tell you
that you are stupid
they will tell you that you are dumb
they will tell you that you are hopeless
They will tell you.
and it will leave you
And you will beg
give your heart,
to give your heart
When I think about it, I can see the root of my problem.
I can see that I don’t try to change hard enough because in my heart, I don’t think I deserve it.
There are people in my life that would beat me down to submission,
telling me they don’t have a good life,
they don’t have happiness,
they don’t have peace
I shouldn’t either.
I don’t deserve it.
And so instead,
I eat, I binge,
I full up
I full up
because I cannot handle the anger, the jealously, the backlash
of trying to be
Every day it’s more of the same
Every day I say it’s the last day I’ll abuse my body
…but I lie
…I surrender to the binging, the food, the pain,
It’s too late
it’s too late…
I’m too late
to ever ever ever
be good enough again.
“THE only thing that made me feel better about myself was eating…
THE only thing that made me feel worse about myself was more eating.”