Tag Archives: binge eating

Can’t do it…

Can’t do it anymore

can’t do it

tried

trying

tried

gave up

gave in

why

why

why

no excuses

no excuses

it’s weak

taking the easy way out

I take the easy way out

because the hard way

is

too

damn

hard

……

but the truth is

that the hard way

is too damn hard for me.

and I’m too big of a wimp

to have faith

to try

to say

fuck you to that which harms me

instead

I give in

….

what i eat….

is actually

eating

me.

Advertisements

Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized

Full Up…

When I think about it, I can see the root of my problem.

I can see that I don’t try to change hard enough because in my heart, I don’t think I deserve it.

There are people in my life that would beat me down to submission,

telling me they don’t have a good life,

they don’t have happiness,

they don’t have peace

and, thus

I shouldn’t either.

I don’t deserve it.

And so instead,

instead,

I eat, I binge,

I full up

through tears,

through anger

through sadness

I full up

because I cannot handle the anger, the jealously, the backlash

of trying to be

someone

better.

Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized

I’m Scared

Good God

I’m scared

Every day it’s more of the same

Every day I say it’s the last day I’ll abuse my body

…but I lie

…I panic

…I surrender to the binging, the food, the pain,

I surrender.

It’s too late

it’s too late…

I’m too late

to ever ever ever

be good enough again.

I’m ruined.

Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized