If you try to hard…

THE harder we strive to attain our ideal self,

the further away it seems to be,

and the wider the grief that exists between it

and our real selves.

Pleasure and Pain

“THE only thing that made me feel better about myself was eating…

THE only thing that made me feel worse about myself was more eating.”

Dare Not…

When I think I have a chance, a fighting chance, with the strength to fight this disease…

I give in again.

It’s far easier to give in it seems.

It’s ridiculous and maddening because I know, I know(!), that if I just stay in the moment and not worry about being scared, alone, afraid in the evening – then i could do it. I could!

I think….

I wouldn’t know because I haven’t waited long enough to see.

Instead I panic.

I need my crutch, my vice…my addictions.

My crack…

And it leaves me sicker than I ever imagined…

…until the next night.

God.

God, give me the strength…

When will I surrender my soul to you God?

For that is the only moment

that I think I can ever change.

 

We all have reservoirs of life to draw upon which we do not dream.

– William James